What does this even mean, Deena?

After thirty-five injurious, felicitous, inebriated and (fay-tiptoed) phantasmic hours, a lucid dream fell over me—-
culling into me.
It was heavy, creating
interruption and
altercation on the
hollow of my stitching.
I’m creating a concoction, don’t you know, an equation for separation and the make-shift nuances of odalisques. Stir twice, call true, this trumpeting kiss observes rhapsody and sweet. [...]

I’m not really here.

I want to be eternally young. I already feel the cold in my bones.
Imagine this, me, it, older.
I’ll be fragments of myself.
I listen to all these songs about heartbreak but I’ll never fully understand them.
I used to think I did but I realize now I was just young and in lust.
I feel like time is [...]

co-depedence. hope.

in a stretch of dependence, i let myself into you.
holding you, with your jubilant smile,
is immeasurable.
speaking in moderated tones, with gentle,
we fall asleep together.
despite your insistence on keeping me near
you do not drive me away.
your archaic virtue, the unworldliness
is undoubtably endearing
the soft of your back is spongy, delicate.
so malleable.
vulnerable.
i can’t imagine
that i was once
you.
we were [...]

oh what julia represents.

ambiguous in her desire, she swept
into the sky in an auspicious manner.
imagine venus, spindled together.
altogether winsome. that was her.
as though taunting me,
the butterfly began to pirouette around me.
oh to be in such a spirit.
tiny scales and kaleidoscopic,
varicolored beating hearts.
wings of impression but in symbolism,
with the practicality
of flight.
american lady, silverdrop, cloudywing—
either which she is,
julia was once [...]

the gigantic, gaping hole.

last night i looked for charlie
in frantic,
i searched for him—-
only to find him
right beside me.

i woke up

i am not sure
if that sound
just now
and that —- trick of light
was
fireworks
or lightening
or [...]

I used to believe in you.

Dear Virtue,
I was wondering if perhaps
you could lend me a compass
so I could document each and every sigh and tremor and beat
(you make)
I’d like to check if you are suffering from apnea,
or if you are at all, living. (What’s that? You are.)
(Just not au courant of-)
I was wondering if perhaps
you could
entrust me
with a
map of your [...]

The soldier that wished to be an astronaut

Somber soldier, encompass the nefarious with your sword
Have shame, sitting fainéant in such is the way of the sloth
Soldier dearest, I see magnitude in your eyes
You fancy to be an astronaut, with an (afterglow) minus the (day)
(oh lets let it be a glow, it will glow, it glows, that heart)
dream of that, like a toy, [...]

69

i guess, maybe, just-
our time is up.

66

we can say this much; i am no longer fourteen.