I used to believe in you.

Dear Virtue,
I was wondering if perhaps
you could lend me a compass
so I could document each and every sigh and tremor and beat
(you make)
I’d like to check if you are suffering from apnea,
or if you are at all, living. (What’s that? You are.)
(Just not au courant of-)
I was wondering if perhaps
you could
entrust me
with a
map of your [...]

You’ve taught me the lesson of silent lips, keep tight let no one in.

You know on some days
despondency ensues, overwhelming every inch of your body,
anesthetizing every active cell, until you are solidity a nonentity.
Today is one of those days.
I’ve cut myself off from so many. Or have I? I can’t remember, each action falls on top of the next-
dominoes cascading in routine fashion, in fact; this sensation, this
reaction [...]